Some jokes to brighten your day! (II)

A mother and son were doing dishes while the father and daughter were watching TV in the living room. Suddenly, there was a loud crash of breaking plates, Then complete silence. The daughter turned to look at her father.
Daughter: It's mummy!
Father: How do you know?
Daughter: She didn't say anything.

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Man: How old is your father?
Boy: As old as me
Man: How can that be?
Boy: He became a father only when I was born

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Teacher: Dol, your composition on 'My Cat' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did u copy his?
Simon: No, teacher, it's the same cat!

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A boy came home from school with his exam results.
'What did u get?' asked his father.
'My marks are under water,' said the boy.
'What do u mean 'under water'?'
'They are all below 'C' level'

ATUK MERDEKA

Cucuku..
Kau ingin menjadi apa bila dewasa nanti?

Atukku..
Aku ingin menjadi kayu.

Jika kau menjadi kayu
Jadilah kayu golf
Disebut kayu tetapi besi
Diulit Dato’, tauke dan menteri
Jangan kau menjadi tunggul!

Cucuku..
Kau ingin menjadi apa bila dewasa nanti?

Atukku..
Aku ingin menjadi pagar.

Jika kau menjadi pagar
Jadilah pagar karan
Dipicit suis power berjalan
Dirempuh diusik boleh pengsan
Jangan kau jadi pagar makan padi!

Cucuku..
Kau ingin menjadi apa bila dewasa nanti?

Atukku..
Aku ingin menjadi mangkuk.

Jika kau menjadi mangkuk
Jadilah mangkuk purba zaman batu
Buruan ahli arkeologi setiap waktu
Membawa bukti tamadun dan ilmu
Jangan kau menjadi mangkuk hayun!

Cucuku..
Kau ingin menjadi apa bila dewasa nanti?

Atukku..
Aku ingin menjadi bintang.

Jika kau menjadi bintang
Jadilah bintang di langit
Tiada boleh ditukar wang ringgit
Tidak boleh dijolok dikait
Jangan jadi bintang tiga!

Cucuku..
Kau ingin menjadi apa bila dewasa nanti?

Atukku..
Aku ingin menjadi seluar dalam.

Jika kau menjadi seluar dalam
Jadilah seluar dalam superman
Sarung di luar nampak gentleman
Tiada manusia memberi komen
Jangan kau menjadi seluar dalam model playboy!

Cucuku..
Kau ingin menjadi apa bila dewasa nanti?

Atukku..
Aku ingin MERDEKA.

Jika kau ingin MERDEKA
Lupakan tentang perarakan di Dataran Merdeka
Simpanlah budget kereta berhias dan pentas lintas hormat
Untuk membeli kayu
Untuk membeli pagar
Untuk membeli mangkuk
Untuk membeli bintang
Untuk membeli seluar dalam
Dan.. Untuk membeli MERDEKA!

UJANG
Kuala Lumpur 1992
Wallahu a’la wa a’lam.

Some jokes to brighten your day!

Teacher: History is a very interesting subject. It tells you about what had happened in the past.
Student: Please teacher, I don't think I want to study history.
Teacher: Why?
Student: There is no future in it.
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ...

Father: Why did you fail your mathematics test?
Son: On Monday, teacher said 3+5=8
Father: So?
Son: On Tuesday, she said 4+4=8 And on Wednesday, she said 6+2=8. If she can't make up her mind, how do I know the right answer?
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ........

Teacher: Ted, if your father has RM10 and you ask him for RM6, how much would your father still have?
Ted: RM10.
Teacher: You don't know maths.
Ted: You don't know my father!